Human Defined Zine

It's hard to live, right? That's what we tell ourselves. It's what people tell us. They use it as enforcement, a band aid, a cover, a dismissal. They use it over and over again because it justifies all the bad things. Life is hard and "there's nothing we can do about that".

They take our weapons, our voice, our choice, our mind. They take it all without permission, plea, morals, an answer. They just take it. They take it and we let them because it's human to take it. It's human to bend and let break. It's human to destroy things, but we are human so we need to let them destroy us. And already it makes no sense. It never has. We know it. There's no "can't". Only the people around us trying to talk us down to surrender. Why do we surrender?

Why surrender when the moment we hold no weapon, they own us and the right to hurt us...because we refuse to hurt them.

Yeah, I know. Being called a monster is a lot. We don't wanna feed into it. We don't wanna actually be the monster. Is that why this is all so painful? Because either way--down or up we are the monsters. You might as well stand and say it then sit down, let them hurt you, deny it, and still be one. We are the monsters. We are the animals. We are the imperfects too alive for heaven to be there.

And that is all why I made the zine.

Being human is not a right to deserve. Being human doesn't equal morals. It never has. We tried but that only gave people permission to be monsters. It didn't make anyone less of a monster. No matter how good you are, there will be crucifixion. It abundantly clear we are not running from death, the unknown, the gun, the canon, the bomb--we are not running from those things. We are running from each other--the trigger. We are running from the monsters. We are scared of crucifixion above all else.

Is that why Jesus is praised? Because they say he has been crucified, and that's what scares us. Being crucified. It's all the pain of humanity is one cruel act. We are scared of what we will do to each other. And we are all living on eggshells because it's a switch--a coin toss. It's closing your eyes and spinning, pointing, opening your eyes, and then attacking the human you see. It's a free-for-all. It is.

And we all do want to fight with our words and rights when we never had those. Our voices never mattered and our rights were delusions--a tasty and fattening treat dangled in front of us. Rights means nothing--laws mean nothing when it's all a switch. Enough with yelling how much you deserve to take up room. Words never did work. Screams, hollers. Regardless of the evidence. The damage inflicted never convinced anyone to stop. Only actions. Only actions. Only movement. Only stubbornness. Only selfishness. Only guns, cars, and gripped wallets. Only everything they told us not to be because it will make us no longer human is what helps us breathe another day. Because we all deserve to exist and it's not God's or anyone else's will for us to lay down in a line and take the shots. Even the other humans hurting humans know this and that's why they don't. Human is our species and it doesn't define our imprisonment. Who cares if you're right, wrong, saint, or satan. I'm not gonna wait willingly for my life to end to earn one. Hell no! HELL NO! No way in this hell--I'm gonna fight monster or not, always. I don't care about the toll or the dirty hands or the morals I am sacrificing. I don't care about the bloodhounds I will wrestle to have a moment of sitting somewhere still. And I feel like that should be all of us. I just wonder why it's not all of us yet..if yet will ever come.